queen of the f*ck-it moment

OH HEY QUEENS 👑

This is maybe my favourite email I've ever written. I'm watching the sun sink below the horizon of the Timor Sea. I've been camped at Gunn Point, just north of Darwin for the last few days, working feverishly on my laptop and soaking in these magic views. It's almost dark... just the hint of peach along the waterline and a few stars are shining through already. I can hear the ocean rolling in for high tide. This moment is so special and I want to wrap it all up for you so you can come on this journey with me. Because it has been a journey getting here. A journey filled with some really heartbreakingly sad, and beautiful moments.

I've been getting some coaching lately around what I want to be known for, what specifically I want to help my clients with, and how I want to do it. And I am so excited to roll out this new message to the world to help the women who need to find their own heartbreakingly beautiful moments in life.

I've never believed in a message, or myself, more than I do in this moment right here.

I've wanted to be a life coach since I first found out that it was an actual thing three and a half years ago. I remember signing up to a workshop titled 'Life After Teaching'. I was sitting in my dining room Zooming in with a good friend, cheese board and wine in hand on a Tuesday night. I was nervous. It was the first step towards acknowledging that I wanted to leave teaching after just a few short years. I still remember the exact moment one of the hosts introduced herself as a life coach and explained what that actually was.

I felt my heart stumble, my face grew warm, the energy started to flow. I sat on the edge of my seat and listened intently to the rest of the presentation. I still have my workbook for it somewhere. Way, way down on the list of possible career changes, I'd written life coach. I was too scared to even own it to myself, let alone my beautiful friend sitting next to me. I could have let that moment right there change my life... but I didn't. 

I let fear persuade me that I was safer where I was and I hardened myself as protection. I stayed in teaching, looking for a unicorn job that would light me up and simultaneously provide a decent pay check and epic holidays. I didn't find anything because I was subconsciously comparing everything to what I knew I was really destined for...

I had to wait for life to break my heart before I learnt how to value my own thoughts, my own desires, my innate skills and passions. Life literally cracked me open and gave me no other option but to start to feel again. After dealing with a number of personal tragedies, I realised what and who was really important in my life.

I knew without a doubt that I couldn't continue to stand in front of a class of students when I felt there was SO much more I could help them with, other than just teaching them Shakespeare (poor old Willy really gets a bad rap and I do love him, but sometimes life is lifing and I wanted to help people with their own tragedies, not teach them).

It was April last year and I was still skirting around the issue of coaching. It was the big elephant in my brain that I refused to acknowledge. I kept toying around with other ideas that seemed 'more realistic' or 'more secure'. I was scared of what other people would think. I was scared about whether I could follow through and learn to pivot with new skills and experience. I was scared full stop.

I kept turning up to teach day after day, helping students with their personal problems on the side in my lunch break, and watching their hearts breaking in front of me. I kept going through this heartbreak, experiencing it again and again until it finally clicked... in that moment I realised that it was going to keep happening. I would keep watching these problems arise day after day and feel powerless to help, until I learned my lesson and decided to change my circumstances. I had an epic F*CK-IT moment.

The F*CK-IT moment is when you realise you need to take back the pen and rewrite the story of your life, because right now you're living out the story that somebody else told you that you should. And every time you make a decision based on what you 'should' do, or on what somebody else might think of you, you're giving your power and your life away.

You only get one story and one opportunity to write it. And I was filling the pages with things that didn't light me up anymore, and wondering why it felt like 'same shit, different day'. If every day were written as a page in my story, all of my pages would have been the exact same. I didn't feel like I had a purpose. I was just on auto-pilot going through the motions and calling it a life.

So F*CK-IT. What's the worst that could happen? On a deeply personal level, I had already experienced the very worst tragedy I could imagine and I also knew that I had survived it. Every other potential consequence lost its power after that. Wanda wants to judge me? Who cares. It's a bust? Who cares. I don't like it? F*ck-it! Who cares.

I decided to study again and enrolled in a coaching academy. I packed up my house. I sold my car. I moved in with my mum for a few months and searched for a van. I started travelling full time. I launched my business. I started rewriting my days exactly how I wanted to... and every day is such a beautiful reflection of my journey now. When I say I'm 'living the dream', I literally mean it.

I reflected on what exactly led me to this turning point, the 'what's the worst that can happen?' and the 'F*CK-IT I'm all in' moment. Because this wasn't the first time I'd thrown all of my carefully laid plans out the window and embarked on a crazy adventure.

• In 2010 with just 6 weeks left in my final school year, I deferred my honours business degree and decided to fly across the world to the USA for an entire year as an Au Pair to four children.

• In 2012 when I'd returned and started my business degree, I decided to drop it after just a semester and transfer to literature and high school teaching instead... and move 17 hours back to my home town.

• In January 2017, I was sitting by the pool at my mums on holidays when an ad caught my eye. I had just finished my teaching degree and had job offers galore... but I decided to drop it all and run out West chasing sheep and children as a Govie for a third of the pay, in the middle of nowhere, for the whole year instead.  

I realised I was kind of the Queen of the F*CK-IT moment.

I really valued who I was and what I stood for once upon a time. And then, inevitably as I got older, I started listening to what the people around me were saying and what society valued, instead of what I valued in myself.

I stopped listening to what my heart was calling out for, and started shutting it down in order to protect my head: the logic part of my brain that cared deeply what others thought of me, and desperately wanted to be seen as a success. 

But I found her again mid 2023. The heart that I'd shut out and ignored for so long. I've been finding her again in all the little moments of life these days.. every time I have a feeling of desire, an impulse, no matter how fleeting, I try to follow it. Because it's those little impulses that are the language of my heart. 

The fears? The Anxiety? The unworthiness? All still there. But those are the domain of my head, and now that I know that motherf*cker is just trying to protect me, as annoying as he is, I can cut his logic off with more logic:

Do I want this? Yes.

Will it serve me or bring me joy? Yes.

What's the worst that could happen? F*CK IT. I'm all in!

It's been a deeply transformative journey so far, and I'm so glad I took the time to learn to be in my own body again, to understand what all this noise in my actually means, to tune in and listen to my heart, and to follow my dreams, because what's the worst that could happen?!

This feels like coming home. Home to myself and to my story. Home to my purpose... to help you understand how this feels too. To help you understand that this is entirely possible for you too. To help you understand how to listen to your own heart.

To help you use your f*ck-it moment instead of wasting it like I did three years ago... because it was a bloody learning curve trying to figure out the journey on my own. I've literally spent thousands of hours studying mindset and neuroscience and universal laws so that you don't have to. I've spent tens of thousands on different personal development courses and worked with different coaches. And now it's my turn to give back to you.

You're so close to your turning point, your f*ck it moment. It's just there, right within your grasp. You just have to reach out, take that first step, and make the decision to value your heart over your head.

I know that you're feeling everything I'm saying. This is the truest message I've ever written. It's from my heart to yours. Honour her. Learn how to tune back into yourself and your dreams. Let me shift your mindset and teach you how your logic brain works so that you can shut him down when you need to.

I have a really incredible framework that I developed to help you achieve the transformation you so deserve. I've already been using it with clients inside of the 'F*ck-It Mastery: Living Your Truth' package with great success, and I can't wait for you to experience it too:

1. The no BS audit of your gap: where you are right now, and where your heart wants to be.

2. ​​Discovering your limitations: why your logical brain and beliefs are keeping you 'here', and stopping you from getting 'there'

3. Rewriting your story: The process of how we transform your subconscious mind and shift your energy so that you start tuning into your heart again and start taking action that lights you up

4. Designing your new life: the fun part of the rewiring process to ensure that you can embody your new identity, continue listening to your heart and holding space for this new dream life of yours.

Let me help you live the f*ck-it life that you deserve.

I'm so committed to helping you get there that I'm offering the remaining three spots on my coaching roster at a massive and ridiculous saving of almost 40% You will never find another life coach with 8 certifications, 8 years of teaching and coaching on the sidelines, my life experience, my heart and my message, at this price and I'll never be offering my services this steeply discounted again.

Frankly, my coach told me I was nuts for doing it. But I know how scary it is to take that leap and invest in yourself. I believe so deeply in your transformation because I know it's possible. You want to spend your days writing the kind of story that you fall in love with... so what are you waiting for?

The 'F*ck-It Mastery: Living Your Truth' packages are first in best dressed, and are only available for the next two weeks, or until I'm fully booked out. They'll launch to my social media and the general public on Wednesday so you've got one day head start.

To get the discount, use the code: F*CKITMOMENT

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There's nothing more valuable than learning to invest in yourself and truly understand your own mind. But if you are really struggling to support yourself right now, please feel free to indulge in my free resources instead while you save up. I have a whole blog full of fabulous tips and my Instagram is full of advice and actions you can take right now.

In addition, I spent hours putting together this FREE blog post with all of my recommended resources for binging all things self-development... I'll just add the link to the blog post at the bottom. Whether you're brand new to the self-development space, or whether you're quite experienced, I think you'll find some great texts on here that will offer you new perspectives and allow you to learn a little more about yourself.

Reach out of you have questions, or book a free discovery call to find out more.

Haley 🤍 

What to Binge on Your New-Self Journey