My hard journey into my emotions this weekend...
- Haley O'Connell
- Jun 25, 2024
- 7 min read
Hey, hi, how are ya?
I decided to take yesterday off to calibrate and reset so this is a little later than usual today. Why did I need a day to calibrate and reset? Lemetellya!
This weekend was one of the most expansive weekends I've had in a long time, both personally and professionally. But I need to rewind a little to give you the full picture and perspective of how exactly it has all unfolded... For the last 5-6 weeks I've been planning my next move for my own personal and professional development: this is something I take really seriously because I firmly believe that we can all grow and evolve, and when we don't have a coach or program to keep us accountable, we stagnate. I've been in that position before and I know that I feel better, I'm more effective and efficient, and an overall more fulfilled individual when I have something that I'm working towards.
I had three different group programs that I was seriously considering, but knew I could only commit to one with my time and energy. I sat on the three different programs for weeks and asked the universe to help me choose which one would most benefit me moving forward... I got zero signs, but I managed to narrow it down to two. They were both very different: one on developing your intuition, and the other on feminine embodiment. I'd been eyeing off both of them for the better part of this year, but now I couldn't choose and the decision was stressing me out.
One indiscriminate morning, I was on my phone and saw an ad on Instagram for Dr Espen and the free Quantum Experience webinar that he was holding that night. Being in the personal development space online, I get a lot of targeted ads, but something about this one caught my eye. Like really caught my eye... I signed up straight away.
At the webinar, I was so intrigued that I signed up to his three day seminar on the Gold Coast. I learnt something from this experience: you know when it feels like a 'fuck yes!' in your body. All the to-ing and fro-ing that I'd done for weeks previously on the other programs were showing me that I wasn't ready, or they weren't meant for me at this time. If something resonates with you, you have a really clear, visceral feeling from your intuition. It can be a fuck yes, or a fuck no, but if you feel neutral about something then it's just not for you right now babe.
And on that: we have two primary emotions from which all the others basically evolve: love and fear.
If you have a fuck yes feeling it means it's coming from a place of love.
If you have a fuck no feeling it means it's coming from a place of fear.
Last Thursday I flew down to the Goldy and tried to prepare myself for three big days of learning and releasing: one of Dr Espen's methods is to return to your past to identify the first instance of an emotion and then release it from your subconscious mind, before rewiring it with a more positive emotion and perspective. This tool is something that I'm also certified in and it's called the TIMELINE technique. It's super powerful and it bloody works. I've used it on several clients now and it's often the most effective release from the inhibiting emotion. Imagine being able to identify the core feeling of shame from your childhood, and then never having to feel that way again?? Imagine the possibilities that this would open up for you moving forward!
I released a lot of pent-up emotions, a lot of which I never even realised that I was holding onto in the first place and I'm a life coach: I literally do this for a living! I was able to identify and let go of my primary fear, one I'd been holding onto subconsciously since I was six years old, and rewire it with a new higher vibrational emotion and perspective. I was also able to let go of a lot of grief I was still holding onto after the loss of my brother Clay, and find peace and gratitude that I had such an amazing brother in my life for 25 years. None of this is easy. It's not as though by releasing the emotion, I've let go of all sadness and I'll never miss him again.
But I've let go of the deep pain of it that I didn't even realise I was still holding onto; the feeling that I was holding my breath and I couldn't breathe properly. I could literally feel my ribcage expanding with each inhale after it had become so tense and numb with the pain of it. Kind of like how your chest gets tight and your throat constricts when you can feel the sadness welling up inside of you... imagine living with this feeling in your body every single day and not even realising it 🤯
We hold our emotions in our body tissues.
This has been scientifically proven and is the core principle for most of the ancient practices from Eastern civilisations: Yoga - Tai Chi- Qi Qong - Acupuncture - Massage therapies - Dance - Meditation - Chanting & Song. If you have emotions that have been bottled up inside of you for so long, they're in your body blocking the flow of energy. The way to move through this is to do the release work. Often we're unaware of what we're holding onto because it has become so normalised for us, sometimes we need to have somebody objective point it to us like a life coach, or a program that has the tools like TIMELINE to help you uncover your blocks.
I know this seems a little woo-woo, but it's all there in the science and has been practiced for thousands of years: even if the medical profession of today doesn't want to acknowledge it.
While that all seems like it would be incredibly traumatic and hard, it was also incredibly beautiful to be able to rewrite my story in a way that felt empowering.
Instead of, why did this happen to me?
I was able to say, why did this happen for me?
It's a small distinction, but it's incredibly powerful. Without my life unfolding in this exact pattern, I might not be here right now writing this email as a life coach with the power and the dream to help other people.
A few really key lessons that I learnt about myself and the universe this weekend:
I am so passionate about this work, but I often hide just how much I care and what I know, because I'm afraid of judgement from others. I can't control how others perceive me, but I can control how I present myself to the world. I can't help people unless I tell them exactly what I believe in, what I know to be true, and exactly why and how I can help them.
All of our emotions stem from two core emotions: love and fear. Love means that it will bring your soul joy and fulfilment, and fear means that it's been placed on your path to teach you a lesson; it's up to you whether you rise to the challenge to embrace the growth it will bring, or whether you forget how powerful you are by letting your feelings run your life and keep you in your comfort zone.
In order to manifest your dreams, it's not enough to have just the idea or thought, you also need to have the emotion and be an energetic match for it. If you keep asking for a summer body, but you sit on the lounge in fatigue every day and eat all the snacks, then you aren't operating at an energetic level that could handle it. Start to show up as the person who already has the thing, and this is where the magic lies: by taking action towards it, you're putting both thought and feeling together as if it's already yours. It can't help but manifest in your life when you do this.
When you're ready to make moves and take your own power back, let me know. I'm really excited about this new direction that I'm headed in: there are so many things that I'm learning every day and I wish that I'd been taught them, or I'd found them out earlier in my life.
And to that end, I'm dedicated to imparting some of this knowledge on to you guys so you can expand your horizon and start to think about the way that you've been moving through life so far. There is another way forward.
You have to be brave and take some action in order to get there, but I know that every time I feel the pain now, it's moving me onto the next level of my life. I can't control how life unfolds for me, but I can control how I respond to it. I'm choosing to heal all of the parts of me that are no longer a match for what I want in my future, and I encourage you to do the same because I want this for all of you too: the expansion, the light, the depth of emotion, the joy, the possibilities, and the openness and growth.
Practise saying fuck yes to yourself in all the small ways this week and embrace the joy and fulfilment of those, and experiment with leaning in to the fear of your fuck no feelings... do the action anyway and see what it opens up for you.*
(*The disclaimer here is not to do any life threatening... obviously 🙄)
And when you're ready to take action and say yes to yourself and uncover the possibilities of your future, check out my booking link and grab one of my coaching packages. Let's get that energy flowing so you can feel your way into your next move, instead of trying to move from a place of fear and tension.
All my love and all the healing vibes ✨
Haley 🤍
P.S. If this felt hard for you to read, I'm truly sorry. Please reach out to me and we can have a chat about it, because the last thing I want you to do is sit there in your heavy feelings without a way to resolve it. My DMs are open any time, and you can also reply via this email.
Comments