First off, let's just acknowledge the absolute shit storm that this last month has been đ€Żđ
It doesn't matter who I've spoken to- friends planning weddings, teachers finalising marking before holidays, families being uprooted from their homes- it seems as though the last few weeks have been chaotic and more a little overwhelming. If this hasn't been the case for you, then honestly, congratulations đ„ł
Mercury retrograde has just finished, on top of a solar eclipse. Lots of big energy happening up in the skies and it make sense that the energy generated up there would also affect us down here... if you don't quite know what I'm talking about, I invite you to think about how your dog reacted during the last thunderstorm. And if you don't have a dog, then take your cues from nature itself... that eerie quiet before the storm kinda vibe. Our pets are so perceptive to the energies around us, it's how they know when we're sad and we need comfort, or in my case, how Koda knew when I was leaving mum's again for the final time and I wasn't taking her with me... even though I was very careful not to show her any of the packing process đą
This week I am taking some time to reconnect with myself and my purpose. I'm on the banks of the Gwydir River in Northern NSW and I'm parked up here for a few days to recalibrate myself, my routines and get on top of some of my study. In the last month, I've completed an absolutely fire amount of learning and energetic upgrades from my Quantum Coaching Certification, and while it's been lovely, it's also been very tiring when I haven't had a chance to rest and reflect on it. I've had a two week trip down home for Easter, a week of study and packing and van upgrades up on the Sunny Coast, and then two weeks of time celebrating my best friends wedding and generally just catching up with them on life. My girl Sandy (Sandy the Sprinter đ), has clocked in about 5500kms in the last 5 weeks since I've had her! It's been ahhhhmazing... but also, I need some time for me đ
I'm going to spend the next few days focussing on the following:
Early morning rising at 6am each day. I've altered my schedule somewhat coming in to Winter with the sun rising later, and also I've realised that this suits my lifestyle far better than 5am now that I'm out of the road.
Hour of power- the usually routine recommended is about 20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of learning (reading or podcasting) and 20 minutes of self-reflection (journal or meditation) first thing upon waking. This puts you in the best possible mainframe for the day and you feel empowered to handle anything life throws at you. I usually stretch my hour out a bit further because my pilates can be anywhere from 25-40 minutes a class.
Social media restrictions- it's a little hard with running a business online and simultaneously wanting to catch up with friends and family, but I try to stop myself from mindless scrolling, and instead stick to what I need to do, and what makes me feel great. I also impose a technology ban from 8:30pm - 7:30am the next morning. The only exception is logging into my pilates portal ALIGN in the morning or my meditations on Insight Timer.
Eating home cooked nutritious meals intuitively. This means listening to my body- if I want comfort food, I'll have pasta; if I want something light, I'll have a salad.
Work/ study/ fun balance. I am getting back on top of my study which is easy because I genuinely love what I'm learning. I'm focussing on working ON my business again now that I have some time, not just working IN my business. I'm also making sure to prioritise something fun every day, because life should be about enjoyment.
In bed by 8:30pm with all technology off so I can read for half hour.
Gratitude journaling each night before I turn the lights out- 5 things each day that I'm thankful for.
Early night sleep- lights out by 9pm each night
This process is important to me- not just because I'm a coach and I should practicing what I preach, but because it genuinely makes me FEEL better. I wake with more energy, I feel empowered early in the day because I've already had so many wins early on, my mind is alert because I've filled it with positive knowledge instead of superficial validation on Instagram, and I feel like I'm achieving something with a much higher purpose by helping others overcome their own lack of motivation, or stuckness, or anxiety in life through my coaching.
By having these structures and routines in place early in the morning, and again in the evening, I'm actually setting myself up for a lot of free time during the day where I can play and explore and just 'be' in the space instead of trying to 'do' all the time. I've really been working a lot on embodying my feminine energy, rather than my masculine.
The feminine is about 'being' and flowing and trusting and it's biologically programmed into us from birth.
The origin of it comes from our caveman days where it was necessary for us to slow down and rest around those important days of our cycle, in order to increase fertility, and therefore our chance of ensuring the survival of mankind. We had to trust in the protection and provision of our men to ensure our safety. It was their job to fight off threats, provide sustenance and 'do' all of the things to create a safe environment for us.
In today's modern society, women have almost rescinded our biological wiring... we feel like we must 'do' all the things to keep up with men and prove our worth in society. In 2023, researchers found that 46% of all women surveyed reported feeling burnt out, compared to only 37% of men. There are of course a lot of factors involved here, with women still picking up 70% of the household and familial duties at home... this averages about 25 hours a week on household chores, and another 25 hours a week for mothers caring for children đł The cost of living has risen, we've moved away from generational living and childcare from the Grandparents, and the liberation of women has set in motion a new dynamic of women who want to have careers and use their skills and step out of the family home.
I get it... but why am I talking about this, as I sip on my peppermint tea on the banks of a beautiful quiet river, noticeably sans children and household chores and responsibilities...? Because I am super fucking passionate about it. I always have been. One of my favourite senior studies at school was the gender gap and the outrage the kids felt, both young men and women, when they realised the inequality.
Our society keeps telling us that we have to idolise the masculine: the need to constantly 'do' and 'hustle' to achieve more, and that the feminine is weak and should be discarded.
I'm here to give you a permission slip to disregard society. If you feel burnt out trying to keep up with the Jones', if you feel burnt out trying to keep up with your husband, if you feel burnt out trying to 'make it', there's a biological reason why. You were never meant to 'do' all the things, all day long, day in, day out!
Instead, my invitation this week is for you to create some space in your schedule to rest and reflect and relax. Make sure you're getting enough sleep; sleep studies are notoriously gender biased, and women are in fact supposed to get 8-10 hours of beauty sleep a night... There's a reason whyyy that old adage rings so true= women traditionally sleep more than men đŽ And this should be doubly true when you add in childcare in the middle of the night! Take the time to do something you love, just because! Paint, read, soak in the sun, make your favourite meal and eat it in peace, book in for a massage, go for a soak in the bath, buy yourself your favourite tea and inhale it as you drink it to savour the taste and the smell.
If you have children and you're rolling your eyes like yeah right, then I challenge you to ask your partner, or your parents, or a friend for an hour of time to yourself. If you don't put yourself first, and you keep giving all of your energy away, then you will always feel like this. This being tired, exhausted, run-down, stressed, anxious about the to-do list, struggling to wake in the morning, struggling to fall asleep at night, resentful and quick to anger, nagging and filled with negative self-talk.
It's your decision after all. You get to choose how you feel. It doesn't have to be about throwing out the job, or the husband, or the baby with the bathwater. But you can make a conscious choice to free up some time in your busy calendar... to do the workout, read the book, sit in silence with a cuppa.
And if that feels utterly impossible, or I've triggered something and made you feel angry, resentful, spiteful, sad... Great!! The only way we change things, is by becoming aware of how broken they are in the first place. So consider this your wake up call: if you want more time to rest, relax, reset, or if you want to feel more peace and joy even while the chaos of life is reigning around you, then jump on to my website and book your life coaching sessions now. I can help you free up that space even when you think it's impossible, and I can help you free up your emotional hold on it to đ
For now, I'm going to practice what I preach and continue working on my routines to free up my own days. I'm eyeing off some of the natural hot springs around this area for later in the week as a little treat for all of the study catch up and business work that I'm completing. Give yourself permission, you deserve it đ€
If this has resonated, please free to screenshot and share it on socials and tag me so I can see your feedback đ«¶đœ
Until next week, love, rest and relaxation âš
â
Haley đ€
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