Bon Voyage! 🚐 🗺️

Hello all of you perfectionists, people pleasers, and sit-on-the-sideliners 😉

Have I missed anything? Let me know if those labels don't hit home... or just replace it with what does. There have been some big shifts in the last week. Both physically, energetically and emotionally. And I have decided that along with the physical journey I'm undertaking (starting Tuesday morning- right about the time you're reading this), I'm also leaving behind the labels and the old identities that no longer serve me in this next stage of life.

You see, words have tremendous power.

So when we constantly label ourselves as this, that, or the other, what we're actually doing is reinforcing that belief about ourselves. Our subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between the literal and the metaphorical, the humorous sarcasm or the serious characterisation. If you provide it with language where you identify yourself as a perfectionist, all of a sudden your subconscious mind will believe it and then prompt you to behave in that way.

In a nutshell, this is Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and I've been deep in the study of it for several months now. Whatever you say to yourself in your own mind, whatever you repeat out loud to others: it all filters back in through your subconscious mind and further cements your beliefs about yourself. If this is something that you're interested in reading about further, there are a lot of book and courses out there... alternatively, I might be cooking something up very soon that will interest you 😉

As a teacher, I found it really frustrating seeing students who would put their heads on the desk and refuse to complete a task because they were, in their own words, 'too dumb'. I knew wholeheartedly that this wasn't the case; they were funny, they were caring, and they were great storytellers after the local football derby, but for some reason they struggled to translate this onto the paper for an assessment. Worse, once they started telling themselves they were 'too dumb', I knew that there was no point pushing it any further that day because they really believed it. I didn't have the research to support my theory back then, but I knew that once they uttered those words, they believed it so much they would do just about anything to fulfill it; even if that meant failing a totally do-able assessment task or creating chaos in the classroom to reinforce their refusal.

At first, I couldn't understand why they were limiting themselves in this way- it served no purpose except to get them out of completing work that day- work they were capable of completing.

On a deeper level though, I've been doing a lot of reflecting about my own labels and how they've held me back over the years. In one of the earlier issues, I wrote about how I originally didn't think I was able to travel Australia on my own as a single female, and not a very handy one at that. That was a label that held me back from chasing my dreams for years.

The words 'I can't'- have stopped me more times than I care to admit.

Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to consider how something is holding you back from really chasing after your dreams in this lifetime. There are some common labels below, try them on and see if any of them resonate with where you've been resisting:

• I'm too old

• I'm too broke

• I've left it too late

• I'm too sensitive

• I care too much about other's judgement

• I'm not smart enough

• I'm too much of a perfectionist

• I'm too busy

• I'm too lazy

• I'm too young

• I've got too many people depending on me

• I'm too scared
  

Really have a good, hard think about which of these labels could apply, or which of them you've identified with for too long. The first step to effective reflection is actually being able to identify where you are right now in this moment. If you don't feel like any of them apply, replace them with what does! And if you are sitting there thinking that you don't have any at all, I would invite you to get curious about your life...

Consider whether you are living the dream life right now. If you are genuinely in the best place that you could ever imagine, that's amazing news. And if you're not living the dream, where do you want to go from here? Surely there are some future goals that you want to achieve? Why haven't you reached them yet? Listen to what comes up: those are your excuses, and your labels.

To release the labels takes some work. It's not necessarily difficult, but it does take commitment, energy and some time. It's what I've been working on with my life coach, and I finally got to a place last week where I entered our session and said "Enough! I'm done with trying to work through them, let's just leave them behind altogether!"

I've been working through understanding NLP and how it impacts my life, but also how it impacts others so that I can help you through it too. I've also been working through studying some other modalities that are proven to help with releasing us when we feel stuck in our limiting beliefs. Modalities such as Belief Change scripts, Emotional Freedom Tapping, Reiki, and Hypnotherapy. I'll dive into each of these a little more deeply as the weeks roll on and I gain my full accreditation in each one, but for now I am basking in the lightness, and the ease, and the flow that I feel in my life as a result of doing this work.

It's not to say that there haven't been hardships or incidents in the last few weeks, but I am absolutely more capable of handling them and maintaining my equilibrium now. Each week I feel some of that tightness leave my chest as I leave behind the labels, the excuses, the beliefs that shaped my identity as a person who couldn't.

Travel News:

In exciting news, that I've already given away at the top of this email, I am setting off properly for the great unknown on Tuesday morning- today eeeeeek 😍

The inspiration for this email actually came from the fact that I wanted to be gone by Monday morning at the latest. It was all I'd declared to everyone and anyone who would listen. And technically, there was no real reason why I couldn't have pushed it and busted myself to get ready to leave by Monday. I tried really hard to make that happen. But there were a few little homey touches that I wanted in the van and we didn't quite get it sorted in time for me to clean and pack it on Sunday afternoon. I started to feel my stress levels rise and my chest tightened as I thought about the little remaining time I had and everything I was still yet to complete. Then it suddenly hit me about 4pm Sunday: it was a self-imposed deadline 🤯

I didn't have to answer to anyone! If I needed the extra day to get myself sorted then that was completely fine, and mum certainly wasn't complaining about having me stay the extra night. It's so interesting to me that we get so caught up in these silly little tug-of-wars within our own mind about what we think should happen, and what actually is happening. And of course, this all relates back to that idea of identifying as a perfectionist, or a people-pleaser.

But what's the worst-case scenario if it doesn't get done?

This question has been a literal life-line in the last few months and I invite you to take it with when you finish reading this email today. Every time you feel the pressure building up, ask yourself: what is the actual worst case scenario and how likely is it to happen?

I decided that there really wasn't a worst case scenario: I get another night of sleeping in a bed on solid ground, I get to use the spacious bathroom, and another home-cooked meal (mum's carbonara is to die for 😍).

My plan is to head towards Tamworth for a friend's wedding. I'm not sure yet whether I'll be doing the trip over a few days, or heading straight there to spend some time with everyone and help set up beforehand. As for after that, you'll have to stay tuned to see where the wind blows me 😉

I am so grateful for each of you ✨ If this blog has resonated in any way, or if you want more information then please send me a DM on Instagram!

And of course, if you have found this helpful, please feel free to share it with a friend- my dream is that we can continue to build this community and I can help inspire even more people to live the life that they dream of!