Bakery + #vanlife + beach + concerts + family = livin' the dream

I am writing this from the Goulburn bakery, sipping on a tea, and eating an apple turnover in a window seat that overlooks my new van. I've caught up with family and friends this weekend, driven over 1600kms, been to a concert, walked along the beach, and am on my way home to see my family for one last visit before I head off on my big trek. I can't wait to see everyone and to squeeze my baby niece and nephew; it hurts my heart to think about how much they've grown in the last couple of months, and how much they'll continue to grow in the following year.

It also really drills home (bad pun intended!), the importance of living in this moment that we have now. In fact, it's going to be one of my hardest and most rewarding tests this year: the ability to slow down and live in the present. Apart from my desire to see the breathtaking scenery around Aus, the other important reason for this trip was that I realised I was living a horrifying amount of my life in the past or in the future. I was consumed with feelings of regret for the things I could have done differently in the past, or with anxiety about all the things I was 'supposed' to be doing and achieving one day. I was disconnected from my body, from my mind, my emotions, and reality.

What did that actually look like? It manifested problems in my life such as body tension from stress, fatigue from constant worry and anxiety, breathing issues and asthma from my inability to even slow down and breathe properly, a constant to-do list, OCD-level organisation and perfectionism, surface level relationships, superficiality, and self-imposed deadlines that forced me to rush everywhere, all the time. No wonder I was feeling burnt out!

I write all of this because I know that I'm not the only one. In 2023, a Gallup report found that over 50% of Australian women are experiencing feelings of burnout. I also know from my conversations with friends, colleagues, mothers, and students that this feeling is being glossed over despite the very real, and frankly devastating effect it is having on our personal and professional lives.

A few years ago, I couldn't even recognise this feeling. I thought that it was just normal, it was just 'me' and it was how I operated through life. I heard of similar feelings from close ones, and saw this culture of hustle promoted everywhere online. I thought, and often proudly told people, that I thrived on a fast-paced environment, that I lived for stress, and organisation and over-commitment.

It was a slow realisation; I didn't just wake up one day with a new understanding that my life wasn't really mine, that I was living day to day going through the motions, that I wasn't actually feeling or living any of it.

Of course, the loss of my brother Clay two years ago caused me to stop and re-evaluate my life in a way that I never had before. Such a major and traumatic life experience was going to have an impact, but that re-evaluation alone wasn't enough to change my life or the way that I was living. It made me realise that I didn't want this to be the way I felt for the rest of my thirties, let alone the rest of my life, but the actual insights came from a very deliberate choice that I made.

I had to choose to put myself into a different environment; one that was totally different from the 'norm' that I was used to seeing and then upholding myself. I didn't want my life to be the role-model for the kids I was teaching. I was no longer proud of the way I felt or experienced life, and I certainly didn't want anyone else to copy that example.

I needed an environment where other women were making choices about their daily priorities and schedules, and they were living from a place of freedom and abundance, not stress and toxic hustle. I made the choice to join group coaching programs, even though I felt inadequate and out of my league, and like it was 'too-good-to-be-true'. I followed women on social media who had the lifestyle that I wanted for myself and listened to their podcasts and read their books.

I had role models now. I had evidence that you can live life differently, that you don't have to wear stress and fatigue as a badge of honour. I've been consciously working on embodying slowing down and being present for 12 months now, and it's still work in progress.

But I knew that to really give this thing a shot, this life of alignment and connection, I needed to change my environment in order to change my beliefs and identity.

I knew that I needed to start tuning in to what I was feeling, and the thoughts that I was telling myself, the stories that were running my life and forcing me to live in a way that didn't feel aligned with my soul.

And the best way to do this, for me at least, has always been to reconnect with nature and to disconnect from society. Camping in a swag for an extended period of time seemed a bit far-fetched but the idea of travelling in a van- sleeping under the stars every night, moving slowly with the trajectory of the sun each day, and paring back meals and routines for simplicity- that seemed like heaven to me.

It's not what society tells us we should do. I'm a single, 31 year old woman, who was, theoretically anyway, ready to move up the career ladder. I was told more than times than I could count that I should be investing in a house, settling down and maybe even changing schools if I was feeling 'antsy'. I was actively told that it wasn't safe for women to travel alone, that I was wasting my life, that I was being irresponsible. None of those sentiments aligned with what I could feel my body screaming out to me- stop, breathe, relax, and reconnect with yourself before it's too late. And so, I made a really deliberate choice to listen to myself first and above all else. Nobody else can possibly know us better than we know ourselves, so if there's even an inkling of something that you want to do, just do it anyway... nobody else will regret it on your death bed except for you.

I've got a few destinations in NSW for the next month or so, and some small additions that need to be added to my van before I set off properly, but this is what I dreamt about last year... Being able to set my own schedule, visit my family whenever I want, and take time off for weddings and concerts without having to beg for permission from somebody else.

I want you to use this email as your permission slip to tune into how you feel, physically and emotionally, on a daily basis. Some stress is helpful, it directs us to the things that we care about, but that feeling of tightness in your chest and your throat, the shallow breaths, the tense shoulders that sit up around your ears and the clenched jaw: those aren't helpful.

If you experience these symptoms consistently, if you struggle to feel your emotions in the present moment, or experience feelings of shame about your other feelings, if you feel like you're stuck on a hamster wheel and you can't get off (because, responsibility!), then take the time to sit with this realisation for a few minutes and assess if whether this is how you want your next week/ month/ year to look like.

Our daily thoughts and feelings make up our daily habits, which make up our weeks, our months, and our years until they become our identity, and then eventually our whole lives.

Feel free to reach out or jump onto my website and book a discovery call with me- we can chat abut how a life coach can help you! This work truly changed my life and I wouldn't be here sitting in this bakery right now if it wasn't for the way that I decided to up level my mindset and my life. I've got another few hours to drive yet (aka karaoke), and then some baby cheeks to kiss this afternoon. I might even pop on the audio book of Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power of Now' which I had recommended to me this weekend- I'll let you know next week what I think of it!

Permission slips are fabulous so I'm giving you one right now- what can you do for yourself this week that you wouldn't normally?

Rise 15mins earlier for a child-free coffee or a walk outside? Treat yourself to a massage, a life coach discovery call, or a new self-development book? Go ahead. I triple dog dare you- if you can't enjoy your own life this week, then what's the point of it all? 😉